Bob Hope
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob HopeA James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob HopeA sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob HopeBigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bob HopeI do benefits for all religions – I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob HopeI don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob HopeI grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
Bob HopeI have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob HopeI have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob HopeI have to much money invested in sweaters.
Bob HopeI like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob HopeI love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
Bob HopeI've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bob HopeIf I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
Bob HopeIf you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob HopeIf you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob HopeIf you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob HopeKids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob HopeMiddle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob HopePeople who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob HopeShe said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob HopeThe good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob HopeThe only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Bob HopeThe trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
Bob HopeThey'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
Bob HopeWhen she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob HopeWhen they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
Bob HopeWhen we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob HopeYou know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob HopeYou know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob HopeYou never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Bob HopeYou've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
Bob Hope